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6 weeks. He’s been here for 6 weeks already. I can’t believe how fast little Henry’s babyness is flying by. He is absolutely precious. I love the sound of his coos and his cries. I love the way he makes his eyes giant and his mouth into a tiny O. I love his tummy. It is so soft and warm. I love to wrap him up in his Halo burrito sack thing and have just his perfect little head poking out of the top. He looks so much like Miles did as a baby. Beautiful.

His brothers adore him. Miles is ALWAYS in his face, touching him and cuddling him and aggravating him LOL. Brother takes frequent breaks from playing to gently rub and kiss the top of Henry’s head. These boys of mine. They are just awesome. They go nonstop all the live long day… (literally, they never let up) but they make me so happy. 

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The transition to 3 hasn’t been nearly as bad as I imagined. I still think the worst part of having 3 kids so far was giving birth. Man that crap HURTS! If I ever do it again (not likely) remind me to just get the epidural! 

But really, one thing about having three that is difficult is that I feel like I am not giving any of them enough of my time or attention. It’s probably just me feeling guilty for nothing (hello OCD) but I do. I want them all to feel my presence and love all the time. And I want to have the energy to run around and play with the bigs. I know it will all fall together in time. For now, we are doing the best we can and I have to say (at the risk of all hell breaking loose after I type this) that things are pretty wonderful with three boys. The night before last I even randomly had the feeling like I wanted to someday have another baby. (Ya. Where’d that come from I do not know, and I am SURE it was just some crazy hormonal fluke) but still, it speaks of just how NOT awful having three kids has been so far. It also helps that I am not working right now. Man it is NICE! I truly envy all you moms out there who don’t need to make the bacon. Drew and I have looked at our budget time and again and there is simply NO way for me to quit. We would be homeless. So Kudos to those out there who can make it work on one income (Kudos meaning I am totally jealous of you… but in the nicest way possible). 

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Annnnnywho, school is going so well. Only a couple semesters left til I have my BS! I honestly NEVER thought I would do it. And I never would have if it weren’t for Drew pushing and supporting me and finding ways around and through all of the bumps in the road with me. He is my champion. I know how lucky I am to have a husband that supports my dreams. I texted him the other day that I didn’t want to wait years between my BS and my Master’s degree. In a matter of seconds he replies “So don’t.” Just like that. It’s amazing to me. I love you boo.

 

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Henry is in the wrap right now and he is starting to get fidgety so I better wrap up.

Hugs,

M

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Where did my baby boys go? How have they grown so fast? They will both be big brothers soon and I know they will love their littlest brother so much. I hope littlest brother is ready to play rough and run around naked all the time…Otherwise he may have a hard time fitting in.

Today sacrament meeting at church was horrendous. Like a total fail. Drew and I were ready to give up and go less active until the kids grow up. It was so so bad. Like, me crying and having a semi-psychotic break like an idiot in the hallway after Miles’ teacher said he is a “handful.” Why did that upset me so much? I KNOW he’s a hand full. Drew and I had just spent an hour and ten minutes wrestling him in a pew. 

Sigh. 

Thankfully my husband is my best friend and fastest comforter and I have three really great friends at church to buoy me up. I sat down next to one of my soul sisters and before I even said anything she was all over it. Friends are really amazing. Cherish them. I do.I hope they know it.

Raising three boys will most certainly push Drew and I to the brink and back over and over again. I look at young mothers with their new babies and just remember how those days seemed so hard then but looking back now, geez that was cake. Baby’s upset? Stuff a boob in his face and all is well. These days nothing is that simple. Nothing.

But I won’t give up hope. And I know Drew loves me and the boys enough to not quit on us either. A motto of Drew and I’s has always been “Don’t Lose Hope.” Boy do we ever need that motto these days. He wrote a song called Don’t Lose Hope for me just before he left on his mission. It is a beautiful, touching song and is still stuck in my head regularly. 

I know I have it so much easier than so many and I do not mean to trivialize anyone’s hardships. But these are mine. And my families, for now. Parenting my two active boys and growing another is tough. Not to mention, my work, school, calling… 

Well, you get it. It’s hard but I am so thankful for my children. A speaker in conference a few months ago said “It takes a lot of imperfect days to get to a perfect day.” He was speaking of raising his children and the difficulties that come with parenting. He was remembering his daughters wedding day at the temple and how they had to go through so many imperfect days to get to that one perfect day. 

I have been promised that if I stay true to what I believe, and do my best to raise my children well and love my husband with all my heart; myself, my husband, my children and many generations thereafter will live in happiness. 

If that’s not worth fighting for I don’t know what is.

M

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Today I am thankful for my parents. The way they love and accept me, encourage and advise me, listen and let me lean on them whenever I need. The relationships I share with the two people that created me are special to me for so many reasons.

I am thankful for my sister. She inspires me to try harder, do better, and shape my life into what I want it to be. To never take no for an answer. She is beautiful and bold. She is, in fact unstoppable.

Today I am so grateful for a sweet husband. He is kind to me and wants me to be happy. He is tackling the raising of our sons with me and we need one another to survive it. I am thankful to have him on my team.

I am thankful for my children. They are wild, reckless, tiny tornadoes that drive me insane and turn my house upside down. They have hearts on fire with curiosity and hands and feet that want to explore everything the world has to offer. They are strong willed and beautiful. They teach me every single day. 

I am so so grateful for the tiny elbows and knees I feel poking out from the inside of my tummy when I lay down at night. I want this baby so much. I am so happy that soon he will be in my arms.

Today I am grateful for friends. Honest, earnest, real friends. The girls I can go to with anything. They cheer me up. They set me straight. They  listen and let me sigh and cry when things are just too much. They tell me their stories. Some are new, some are years old, some I text with and talk to often, others less so. They all have a piece of my heart and today I am so happy they are mine.

I am blessed and thankful to be in school. I have found my place. My passion. I know what it is I am supposed to do with the “me” part of my life. I don’t know how long it will be until that chapter is in full swing but for now preparing for it is bliss.

There are so many blessings great and small to be remembered today and everyday. It is all too easy (for me especially lately) to focus more on what I am missing than what I have to be thankful for. Maybe today can be the beginning of trying a little harder to remember to count our many blessings. We are all in this thing together. Lift someones head, hold someones hand, smile at a struggling soul. The quickest way to forget your own worries is to serve someone else.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

M

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I really need to spend more time exploring this wordpress thing. I like it but I haven’t quite figured out all the bells and whistles yet…

The past few work days have been a breeze with only one daycare kiddo here due to the holidays. Kind of a preview of what maternity leave will be like when I have just three little boys to take care of. Except that then, one of the little boys will be suuuuuper tiny and adorable and drinking all the breast milk his little face can gobble. Did I mention I’m gonna breastfeed this one until he’s like 80? I love breastfeeding! I have nursed the boys progressively longer each time and with us being pretty darn sure this will be our last one, he will be getting juiced as long as his little heart desires.

Three boys. I feel so so honored and humbled to be trusted with three of Heavenly Fathers choice sons to raise during these crazy, troublesome times. I just hope and pray pray pray that I can meet the challenge.

Miles and Oliver are sleeping in our room this week because we have family in town. It is early morning here and Miles is just waking up, still in his semi-sleepy, sweet and calm state. Sleepy Miles. Love.

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The other night I was putting the boys to bed. I was laying with them in their big bed (they share a queen these days) and Brother ran out of the room and closed the door behind him, plunging Miles and I into darkness. Miles squeezed me tighter and made a squeaky whimpering sound letting me know he was afraid. I hugged him back and told him ” We don’t have to be scared because two are bigger than the dark.” That is a line from one of his favorite books The Pout Pout Fish in the Big Big Dark (thanks for the book Granny!). After I quoted the book he hugged me even tighter and said ” I love you Mama.” So sweet. Such simple moments are what makes mothering so beautiful. In those moments all of the craziness, impatience, stress, and hard freaking WORK of the days and nights melts away and for a minute I am able to remember how wonderful what I am doing is.

Harder than I ever imagined, but wonderful.

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Oliver just keeps getting cuter and cuter. He makes me smile all the time with his stories and reenactments of parts of his day. I love to have him read to me and snuggle with me under the blankets. He talks to his little brother in my tummy a lot and smooshes him even more. I am excited to see his reaction to becoming a big brother in just 15 short weeks. He is really excited about his own birthday (which is not until April 1st) every time we mention Miles’ upcoming birthday party Oliver gets all excited to talk about his birthday. He also tells me all the time lately that he wants “to go to Christmas.” So so adorable.

Littlest Brother in my tummy is cooking right along as well. The boys and I have been calling him an adorable name that I hope sticks after he’s born (Husband is reluctant to officially choose a name at this point in time). But the children and I call Littlest Brother by the name and it just feels right. He is veeeeeery active and measuring right on track for a 25 weeker. I have gained around 17lbs, am dealing with awful and inconvenient pain in unspeakable places, and breathlessness but other than that things are going really well with this pregnancy. I am excited to meet him and hold him and soak up his newborn sweetness. Ah it will be magical!

All is well here, busy and getting busier all the time but we are blessed and we hope you are too.

M

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I am thinking of you this morning, as I often do when things are quiet and I have a moment to myself.

I was reading my psych slides and came to a part about optimism and it reminded me of you. So off I wandered into that warm fuzzy place where I can’t help but marvel over the ways you love me.

It’s funny because I know you. I know just how optimistic you are and are not when it comes to your personal goals and feelings about who you are (side note: you are not nearly kind enough to yourself sweet one), but when it comes to me you are unfailingly optimistic. 

I honestly believe that you KNOW I can do anything, be anything. 

So when I have had the worst day ever, you always know just what to say to make it seem not quite that bad. 

When i flail, fail, and just plain suck at life; you cheer me on to try again. And it’s not just that smoke up the butt kind of cheering. It’s getting out your spreadsheets and calculations and showing me exactly how very realistically possible it is for me to succeed.

When I fall apart you are always there to help me pick up the pieces.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

I know I am not as good at picking up your pieces. In fact I am bad at it. When you fall apart, I fall apart. Then you end up rescuing me even through your own heartbreak. I am working on this. I want to be stronger for you so that sometimes you can be off duty on the emotional welfare front of our lives.

But for now, I hope you know how I love you. I think the world of you and I would be so lost without you. 

You are my best friend. My favorite place to crash. 

My hero.

M

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Third pregnancies fly by at lightning speed! I am over half way done already!? What the heck??? 

Fall makes me want to redecorate my house. But we all know how pointless it is to try to have nice things/paint on the walls with young children… or is that just me?

My husband could totally have been a cheerleader in his day. He encourages me to GO FIGHT WIN even when my dreams make no sense at all.

Even though most of my friends and acquaintances are adults some people really have not grown up. Seriously with the judging? Betrayals? General fart-sniffery-ness??? C’mon ladies. Live and let live.

I cannot wait to hold my sweet bundle of baby boy. I can just imagine his baby soft skin now and it is amazing!

 

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I am less excited about graduate school today (I went to an orientation type thing this morning and it was kinda… lame?) I love having career options but as you know I want to homeschool the boys so… Any suggestions on a plausible career that allows me to set my own hours and be home a whole lot??? Hmmmmm… I’m wanting my cake and to eat it too huh. What the crap is up with that saying anyway? Why would anyone get a piece of cake if they couldn’t eat it?

I am serving with the three most incredible women in my church calling right now. They amaze me. If they don’t amaze you then you should probably have your head checked (By me! After all I am a licensed psychology minor). ;0)

Miles Carter Blimes, Oliver Wesley Blimes and …… ____________   _______________  Blimes. I have a pretty good idea of what this boy will be called but am open to suggestions.

It is FALL! I am wearing boots and my pretty coat and it is quite lovely. Ahhhhh. The time of year where modesty abounds. Well, it is at least more prevalent than during summer.

Lastly, I have made some technological  security decisions lately to preserve and protect myself and my family from peering eyes I’d like to avoid contact with. If you notice an issue viewing any of my online profiles and think it is a mistake let me know and we’ll figure it out. 

Grateful to have a chance to sit down and remember a few of my scattered thoughts right now. Hope to see more of you soon!

M

 

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Miles is deeply connected to nature. Like he could be raised in the forest and  thrive just fine. His body and moods respond to the changes in the weather and the moon and being outdoors brings out a side of him  that shines so bright. We spend as much time as possible outside and it is beautiful. It has been even better lately since the weather has taken a turn toward fall. He plays outside rain or shine. Nature makes him very very happy. Which makes me very very happy. It helps that I love being outside as well. My day just doesn’t feel right until I’ve breathed the fresh air and seen the sky. We are grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that has given us such a beautiful world to explore. And I am blessed to mother such a fun loving, adventurous little nature boy.

 

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Oliver is simply the cutest thing in my life right now. The way he talks just kills me. I love how he says Miles’ name. “My Wulls.” Oh man it is adorable. He talks like cookie monster too which I love. “Me hungry. Me wuv ooo too. Me want popasicle.” He is constantly running after his big brother trying to do exactly what he does. They are at a pretty cute place now where they play together decently amicably. There is much chasing, tagging, wrestling, jumping, and climbing at all times. Raising boys is so much fun. 

We have all gotten very used to Daddy working from home two days a week and now the days when he goes to work seem so long. We do love Drew’s new job and the people he works with are very good people. Another blessing to be thankful for. My husband hasn’t always had jobs that he’s loved but I am so happy that he has found a good place now. He is such a sweet, kind man and I want so much happiness for him. He makes my life better and understands me like no one else. Sigh.

 

I am well. Got my first exam this week so studying is in full gear. Have I mentioned lately how much I love school? I left one of my classes last week filled with so much hope for our world and a greater love for the differences that exist between all of us. I guess I just never really thought about diversity enough to give it the credit deserved but I am so happy to live in a world filled with people that are different from one another. It makes life sweet, interesting and beautiful.  I will always love Florida State University for helping me see beauty in  our differences rather than indifference, ambiguity, or fear. I know now why I never finished college when I was younger. I truly don’t believe I was cognitively/emotionally ready to grow into the person I am becoming today, back then. I was young, ignorant, intolerant at worst. But again I am learning hope. Hope that people can change. That old ways can become new. That there can be acceptance, tolerance and even love where there was none before. I plan on my children growing up in a home that embraces diversity, and going out into a world filled with people of all types that they can find friends in.

It is a happy, hopeful feeling.

M

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